When the going gets tough…

Marriage is hard. It has its ups and downs, good days and bad days. Unless your engaged or newlywed and still living in that beginning fairytale where you believe that you and your significant other will be invincible to the problems that most if not all marriages face- you should not be holding to any allusions that you and your spouse will not at some point have difficulties. Several of our friends have reached a point in their marriage right now where they are trying to decide if this is what they really want in life. They are struggling. Some of them want out. Some of them just don’t know how to fix the problems-nor do they have the energy to try. I can’t begin to explain to you the burden I have for them, my heart hurts for them. I have to wonder how do we as believers in Christ let things get this bad? I know that it might be unfair to say in some instances, but I believe that most of these problems stem from pure selfishness. We are called to live selflessly with our spouse, I know for me this is especially hard. I don’t consider myself a selfish person but when I get to the root of any problem Steven and I are dealing with- it’s usually one or the other of us that is acting in a selfish manner. Of course once you realize this-you then have to let go of your pride, which can be just as hard as living selflessly and pride is definitely something I struggle with. I believe selfishness + pride=relationship killer. For most of these couples I think it’s the pride that will eventually be their downfall. You have to be willing to seek help from those that have walked in your shoes. The bottom line is when you marry, you have to marry for life-if you don’t go into with that mindset then when the going gets tough, you don’t have reason to stick it out.

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One Response

  1. Angela- I agree with you so much. Marriage is hard- it takes a lot of work, prayer and forgiveness- oh yeah and repenting on my part! I think when you start being married 7-10 years you start to see more problems (that just won’t go away) in your own marriage and others.

    I know two keys for Dustin and I have been – not going to bed angry and praying together nightly- which ensures you don’t go to bed angry- at least I cant pray when I’m angry. That doesn’t mean we go to bed with it all resolved but we are at a point where we aren’t angry. Yes, there have been some very late nights in the Shramek household!

    Blessings on you,
    Kel

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